helpful thing: if someone finds your (lack of) visible emotional reaction offputting, a good go-to phrase is, "sorry, I'm still processing this--how are you feeling?"
focus the conversation back on them, because if they're telling you about it, they needed the space to be heard. you don't need to have a big emotional response, people do actually find it comforting if you're calm and receptive and give them space to delve into their own emotions.
it's shitty that autistic people are made out to be unhelpful with emotional conversations, when it's that groundedness and presence of mind that can be so desperately needed for people in a crisis. neurodivergent people, your calmness is a superpower.



